Journey from a non-reader to reader

Courtesy - Pintrest

     

I'm not much of a reader, I mean I don't read at all. Not like I don't know how to read, obviously I do. But it was always that my friends here are having a discussion about how the  Famous five and Hardy boys moves them and how John Green and Paulo Coelho makes them feel in 9th and 10th grade and I'm here like, "What the hell?" Holding my Peppa pig picture book because it's cute and also Geronimo Stilton because, I never really knew why, anyway. 

I'm a pathetic speaker too. But hello! I'm also the CEO of making up stories whenever I'm interrogated by my parents, nevermind. I just don't know how to speak, the moment I see a bunch of people, who are all eyes and ears at me, I'm numb. "Stage fear" is what they call it, but I'm the first person to run and find a spotlight, so how am I supposed to call mine a "stage fear"? That doesn't make sense to me. I don't know what is it then. Maybe it's another fancy term which I probably don't know. I told you, I don't read much. (The joke's on me!) Coming to the third skill, writing. Well, no one actually praised me but I didn't face any criticism either, plus I considered poems to be my thing, so it never really bothered me.

So having all these amazing, super super outstanding skills, how did I end up getting on the other side of the river bank? I honestly have no idea. I still remember when I was in the 9th grade, I had an English elocution competition, like every year I was obviously going to get on the stage, look at everyone, start with a "Good morning" and end my speech with a "Good morning" too. Why? Because that'll be the only word I'll say, I'll come back and sit. But this year it was different, ironically the topic was, "Confidence". It was nothing unusual, all I Said was, "Having confidence.." and blank. I just felt so worse when I was on my way back home, thinking why can't I just speak up. How are you supposed to mend something if you don't have a clue of where the problem lies? And till date I never actually found it. But the thing now is, I'm a teacher, I teach without a glitch (hell of a tagline though!). How did I end up teaching if I didn't know how to speak? On the top of that, I'm choosing English literature for my masters. From never reading a novel to always wanting to learn English literature in the back of my mind. And when I'm saying "always", it also includes the time when I went on the stage to speak about "Confidence" and also when all I did was look at the Peppa pig! Meaning, I wanted to do it forever. By now you'll be thinking I'm dumb. Don't, because even though I wasn't a reader, I've had Shakespeare as a part of my curriculum and it just flows with the blood in my veins, also surprisingly, I'm a grammar nazi. Weird.

What is it that's changing me? What's making me read now? What's making me stand in front of those kids and teach? I don't really know. (FYI, I'm 19, incase you guessing it wrong.) There's this "Something" which is making me do that. Taking charge of all my moves. As mentioned before, I never really dug in deep to know the problem so I never actually found it. 

What's making me write? I just want to explore what all can these words and punctuations do, I want to get a hold of them and just go with the flow. I'm not sure how much of that are you going to like, but writing is making me grin for sure. And Maybe, just maybe, this might help me hunt that "Something" which is secretly helping me upgrade. 

~Sasa